Hey everyone, long time no type.
But yeah... there are a few reasons why that was the case, that still bugs me about that to this day. So I would like to type something up about it then. Thought about turning this into a youtube video or whatever, but I guess it would be better to do this where it all started, right here on this forum.
I see that this Terminal Project thread is still up here. I came up with Terminal Radio, and its been over a decade since that started... so I guess its time to give one of my final thoughts on it, if that is going to be the way, since I do still come to this forum, occasionally, only as a reader though.
All I say is, thank you first to everybody who contributed and added to Terminal Radio and Terminal itself. I did most of "season 1". But yeah, gathering 2 hours every month for almost a year, was abit of a task, and it got to me, so that's why I tried handing it off to y'all. Which worked for a while, then Terminal Radio turned into Dream Machine, then that's it for now I guess.
There was going to be a 3rd season. Five Minutes Alone masterminded that, and he gathered up interesting mixes actually, but I thought he was going to put season 3 together himself mostly, and I'll or one of us can jump in on a episode or two. But nope, he gathered the mixes, and expected me to put the whole season together, which was something I promised myself never to do again. Because doing that was too tiring, as you would imagine.
That was part of the reason why I came to the U.K around the time, and met some of you which was awesome. I felt Terminal needed a bigger platform for what it is, get it on BBC or NTS or whatever, but nobody got back to me. That killed my enthusiasm. So I was like, fine. Part of the reason I let some of you take control of certain episodes.
And then we seemed to have "The Disagreements", which was a shame. But for me, in terms of Terminal Radio, it got too disconnected. I felt everybody relied on me too much. I am not Mr. Terminal Radio, I am Loose Link. I just came up with the idea, and it ran its course.
Just quickly, Nmesh didn't kill Terminal Radio per se. Some seem to think that, he added to it. But, it did kill my enthusiasm for it again again in other ways, because half of those on his episode I contacted first, I guess he's further in "the race" than I am, "Climbing The Corporate Ladder"....
Anyway, yeah, I do seem like a dominator, sure, but I don't see myself as a boss, I see myself more as a foundation builder. My idea is the concrete, it's the floor, and I actually get satisfaction watching others I work with able to add to it, pillars, furniture etc. Just as long it fits the foundation that was laid, I'm fine with it.
The coolest thing with Terminal Radio was for a time, a group of us came together to work on something, which ended up being 60+ hours of it. That's something.
That's something I have noticed that is lost nowadays, collaboration, now we seem to either be in our own bubbles, or we are divided politically or socially or whatever. Some of you here went on "Mental Health Crusades", where you typed out pages of your mental struggles, to clear out your "Friend's List"... so if I didn't reply in time, I'm unfriended or whatever. Well again, I'm hardly ever on social media, I'm only there to share something I made or message people sometimes, nobody got no time to like every single bloody thing seriously, it's just too much.
My coldness there was homegrown unfortunately.
I grew up in very hostile environments, I've been in an area of New Zealand currently that has preferred performance over intelligence and thinking. You make one spelling mistake, you drop a cup, you are a moron to the community. The mindhive.
My mother and father were two people who should of never of stayed together. One night stand, sure?, short term affair, fine?, but not married for over 30 years. They did not get along at all with each other. And us kids had to grow up in that environment, and my father had his way. And my mother was caged up and suffered, before she passed away. My father was lazy and didn't give a crap.
So I had to grow up with that. And now I've come to one conclusion: some people want to be the boss, but others don't want to be bossed around. I'm the latter, and in the environments I've been in, I constantly have to deal with "bosses", bosses in their own kingdoms, their own bubbles, rather have followers than collaborators........ and then I have to constantly remind them, very quickly once I figure their mindstate out, that you don't boss me around. And pretty much everytime I did that, I don't ever see them again. It's sad honestly, but if they don't respect that, and keep acting like that, that's what I gonna give them in return in retaliation. I don't get on my knees for nobody if you are not close to me, sorry....
So in my environment, you are either the Boss, or you are a moron, no inbetween.... I desperately want to leave. I hate it here... doing my third Loose Link album currently and other things at the moment are temporarily blocking that bullcrap out... I've found that this life and environment I'm stuck in has me in a sort of a "tug-of-war"...... on one side, I rather be creative and communicative, because I feel that's where my greatest strengths lay. But life wants to pull me towards the other side, where I give all that up everything creative, hit the gym and be super swole, be a meathead, do jobs just cuz I'm a beast etc, look out for da boys, and forget all of this creative stuff, cuz its weak. Music and movies are nothing to most here where I am, it's all just entertainment apparently... not very inspiring to be around, which I guess its why it's taken me this long to do anything, because of this stupid environment I am stuck in...
Alright enough of the personal stuff, only did it to give some perspective, in terms of Terminal, here are two things I am open to, to be clear though I am not going to organise a year's worth of these monthly type shows the old way ever again, way too much work involved.
I am only open to two formats now, if Terminal ever happens again:
Option 1:
Terminal Podcast:
Love 'em or hate 'em, I personally think podcasts is one of the greatest things to happen at this moment in time, because we get to properly communicate with each other again, we are the communication generation. That was one thing I thought was missing from Terminal. Yes we have our messageboards and social medias and that, but I always still felt we weren't properly communicating with each other. That's part of the reason why I travelled to the U.K and lived in London for a bit, to meet and get to know some of you more, which I did with a few of you. I think deep down some of us have a yearning to connect, and I said some. If podcasts were way more of a thing during that time, I would of definitely started that up. Get interviews from some of ya etc.
But for now, I've been thinking, a Terminal Podcast would be interesting. It would be a short series, but it would be a great place for us to talk to each other, maybe premier a new track anyone of us have been working on, or one of us can also do a 15 minute mini-mix, like old times, or discuss an old FSOL track, or a new one before we play a snippet of it. Deep dives into one of their albums or tracks.
There's actually alot of ways we can go with this, one topic I'd like to get into is how "real life", whatever yours is, how it affects your music creation. For me I think its a big reason why I've taken so long to make something new personally, as you've read. If we can combine all of this together, guess it can be 2 hours again, I think this could go somewhere.
And/Or, Option 2:
Terminal-Con/Fest
Doing a monthly show like we did in the past I'd never do again, but, I could be open to something larger.
Instead of a 2 hour show, how about a Terminal-Con, or Terminal-Fest or whatever. Digitally I mean. So for example from now, we'd gather up mini-mixes for Terminal-Fest 2025, which would happen in March 2025, a year from now. So instead of just 8 universes, we gather up as much mixes as we can, then by March 2025 we could have a 24-48 whatever hour massive mix that plays somewhere, properly Touched Music. If not then it might be an issue to broadcast something that big, but I think it would be quite a celebration, we could have interviews inbetween, plus its a year to get it together, plenty of time.
Though, I'm guessing since its been years now, most of you have checked out mentally. I'm fine if that's the case, I'll just concentrate on my third album and life and go from there. Just again, I do have a soft spot for Terminal, especially nowadays with all this social division. Its cool to remember back to a time that I was part of a group that mostly hasn't met face to face, who still made an awesome thing.
Dos Dedos Mi Amigos!